Saturday, August 11, 2012

I choose to live

March 24, 2012

I choose to live!
On any given day, on the ride that takes me from home to work, to errands during lunch, the rush to school, the library to study, and back home again, I'm guessing I see between 100-150 people at least! (And that's a conservative estimate.) But how many people do I actually notice? Well, I guess there was the lady at the drive-thru window with the half-smile, and the man on the street corner by wal-mart holding the sign, (his hair more grown out & his face more blank than last time), the woman at the store with the crying kids, and the person in the car-one lane over-screaming into her phone. Each one is a human being. Each one has a story to tell. Each one has a desire to be loved.

As I write this, I'm on my way to watch a movie about choosing life, but I am recalling a time several years back when I had lost the desire to live. A time when I felt that it was all too much and completely useless. A time when I told God that if this is all that life was-living with masks, struggling and feeling powerless over sin-then I didn't want it. Nay, I couldn't stand one more minute or second of it. I hated it. I hated the nice-nice while everyone in the church was struggling to breathe-suffocating in sin and deceit. I needed to know truth and love and how to win. I needed a conqueror...a redeemer! I just didn't know it.

Fast forward a few months later and in comes...HIM!

This man they call Jesus. The man whom I had asked into my heart many years back, but didn't yet know. Come to find out, He was the One I was referring to when my soul cried out for a rescuer. A relationship is what I was longing for as I wrote in my journal about wanting it to be my turn to experience the realness of God. I didn't see it everywhere, but every now & then I'd catch a glimpse of it and know that I wanted it too.

I am HIS Beloved and HE is mine! His banner over me is LOVE. :-)

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